This past month has been hard to say the least. At the end of January I was let go from my job with a large insurance company because of a few mistakes I made handling claims. I was honest about what I did, brought the mistakes to the attention of management, and was escorted to the door.
Today, in my quiet time, which I’ve not done in quite a while, I read about wisdom and how one should ask God for it without doubting and how I can’t even imagine what God has prepared for me. Losing my job, as I told my wife, was going to be the biggest blessing we ever received or the biggest heartache, but I’m reminded in Jeremiah 29:11 that God’s plan for my life does not include destruction but prosperity (and that does not mean money). I was let go because God has something HUGE planned for my life that He is getting me prepared for.
During this time of testing/trial/getting me ready I’ve let worry, frustration, and doubt gain a foothold in my life. I have fallen away from my daily walk with Christ. I still study for teaching and educating my youth group but I stopped feeding myself and as a result I’ve become an anxious doubter.
The words of Matthew 6 bring comfort though...25 “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? 27 And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? (Mathew 6:25-27 ESV)
This time in my life has forced to me to rely on God alone for strength and comfort. Also, He has placed so many people in my life who have encouraged me and offered their assistance in whatever way they can, but I still have to fully rely on God’s power to overcome my worry and doubt. My wife has been the most supportive through it all. Her strength in God gives me strength when I feel down or anxious.
Understand, God spoke the birds into existence and He takes care of them, God created me, physically formed me from the dust of the earth and knew me before I was formed in the womb, and sometimes I doubt God has the ability, time or energy to spend with me or on me Thanks be to God even though I doubt and wonder away from Him all I have to do is turn around and He is there ready to take my hand, wrap His loving arms around me and tell me it’s going to be okay.
God’s plans are big and I have no clue what they are, but He tells me not to be anxious, not to worry, and not do doubt, I’m trying and I have to realize I am more valuable than the birds of the air and God will take care of me and my family not only through this time but through eternity. Thank you Lord Jesus for caring enough for me and Your willingness to die on the cross so your shed blood would pay for my sins. Amen.
